Notes In The Margin #14: When Perfectionism Strikes Back

I've got to be honest, I'm struggling to write anything today.

It's not writer's block.  The words are coming, but they're just not the right words.  I bashed out half a dozen lines of vague scene points, deleted them, typed them out again, stopped, buried my head in my hands and groaned with a frustration that rose like nausea then I gave up.

There was no beauty, no flow to the words, no rhythm .  They just didn't feel right.

I repeated the processes with this post, although instead of plot points I bashed out a handful of clumsy sentences on three different topics, none of which got off the starting blocks (how's that for a topical metaphor?).  Again, the words came to me, but they didn't satisfy.  I want better words.  Beautiful words.

Even this attempt isn't feeling great, but it has gone further than its predecessors, so I'm going to persevere.  It's hard to explain, which is worrying for someone who spends a large proportion of his time trying to communicate new ideas to people through words.

I think it's that old curse, Perfectionism.